THAT FIRST DAY...

Day 296, originally uploaded by Nalzz.

Being a new kid on the first day of school was as common place to me as breaking in my new sneakers for the year (which were always a notch off from the "must have" ones of the season) or deciding whether I would pack my lunch or brave the mashed potatoes in the cafeteria. There were always so many question marks. Would I make friends fast? Would I like my teachers? Would there be a boy who I liked who actually liked me back? The answers were yes, most of them, and sometimes.

After being an aficionado of the first day for many schools (I went to three high schools), I realized the secret. Being fearless. You know in your heart that you are one talented girl, whether it is that you can run the heck out of a track match, know how to take your keyboard and hammer out a great poem, or can do the best Justin Beiber impression. If you have the courage to let others see the light inside and the magic that comprises the awesomeness of you, the bubble of a new year can hold boundless possibilities.

At my second high school, I was transferring in from a huge school across town to a tiny school that most of the students had been going to since they were in kindergarten. It was daunting--I felt like a tiger (ok, let's be honest--a monkey) at the zoo on display for all of the school to observe. I made it through the entire day without incident (phew!). Then disaster struck. I knew two people in the entire school and hadn't seen my friend Kelly the entire day, and we had plans to hang out after school. Picture this:

The bell chimes letting me know I have gotten through my first day unscathed. I smile to myself in victory, hold my head up high and swim like a salmon in a pack headed to the quad, where the rest of the students are spilling out. A lot of them are still glancing in my direction, wondering who this random girl is who has joined their ranks. I tighten my backpack straps since my bag is filled to the brim with all of my books. Then, as I am standing there doing my best to look totally chill despite the feeling of barf in my stomach that still hadn't disappeared, Kelly sneaks up behind me and grabs the little notch on the top of my backpack that you use to hang it up. I topple over backwards, and end up face up, unable to move because I am lying on the huge stack of books attached to my back. Moreover, since the straps were tightened, I can't even slide out to run away....

Quite simply in recap, I was a sophomore turtle who was stuck with my shell flipped over. The entire quad went silent. I made a flash decision as my friend Kelly awkwardly helped me up (I almost took her down in the process), turned to the crowd that had amassed (who were preparing to laugh in my freckly face), and... took a bow. I closed my eyes for a moment of calm before the storm of potential social reprecussion, terrified that the thirty seconds which had just transpired had royally screwed me for the rest of school, and then I heard laughter... and cheering...and applause.

It was the moment when I realized, if you give yourself a break, others just might too. I have taken that turtle shell memory with me at the doorway of each new beginning in my life... My senior year of high school, my freshman year of college, and so much more. Cheers to the possibility of new beginnings, new books and new adventures.