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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

QUOTE OF THE WEEK


originally uploaded by mermmaid.

"We are grown but cannot see,
lost our world of make believe.
Simple times now seem so far,
used to be in my backyard.
Yeah, the world was still in my backyard."
-Joshua Radin, WE ARE OKAY


When I was reviewing the messages from you all in response to our post Growing Up Too Soon, this song came on my playlist. Though I have heard this entire album a zillion times (Joshua Radin is one of my favorites), the lyrics took on a whole other level of meaning, and I decided it was as a sign to post as our Quote of the Week.

For those of us that have shouldered responsibility that exceeds what is thought of as normal for teens, a lot of us have lost our world of make believe. We are forced to look beyond our high school life to challenges that grown ups face. We have seen the heartbreak of the world, and the sadness and hard times that go on inside the closed front doors of our homes.

Even for those of us who haven't had to deal with a family responsibility, a lot of us feel like reality is forcing us to leave our world of make believe behind. I don't mean playing with dolls or believing in fairies, I am thinking of adult pressures that are being put on us before we have really had a chance to enjoy being teens. This comes in many ways...

One girl is dealing with the pressure of wanting to go to a great college she got into, but the unbelievable stress of not being able to pay for it. She works a job before and after school to save the money and is constantly exhausted. Another girl started dating a guy she had a crush on for forever, and she just wants to kiss and he wants to go all the way. Yet another girl goes home nearly every night to mediate her parent's horrible arguments that she shouldn't even know about in the first place. These girls all think about when they were younger, and could just live in the moment and be content with life. Just like this awesome picture above, we wish that we could reverse the clock to a more simple time of happy memories. Do you every wish you could go back to those times?

I think all of us deserve to get a space in the backyard of our minds where we can feel this way again. I go to my safe place, for example, as I am writing to all of you. When I get your responses that remind me you are out there and what I am writing resonates with you, it reminds me that having this site is worth it. 

I challenge each of you to find that place in your mind that brings you back to that little piece of happiness, regardless of where life has taken you now. As we all take steps to remember that we deserve that, then I know, we are all indeed going to be okay.


Click here and then click WE ARE OKAY on the list to hear this song.

Monday, February 22, 2010

GROWING UP TOO SOON


Lost & Insecure, originally uploaded by purplebeats.

When reading Rosie and Skate, our book of the month, I kept thinking about those of us out there who have had to grow up before our time. So many of us assume a lot of the adult roles in our house and don't ever say anything about it. We take care of things for so many different reasons--our siblings, our parents, survival, or because we don't want the world to know about our family troubles.

Do any of you feel that the weight of your family is riding mostly on your shoulders?

In the book, Rosie and Skate deal with having an alcoholic parent and all of the hurt, anger, and crushing hopelessness that comes with that territory. A lot of girls go home to a place like this every day, and feel like they don't have anywhere to turn. I had a friend in high school who I knew for an entire year before she let me come to her house. When I would ask about coming over, she usually said, "My dad is a drunk. It isn't worth it." She was right. The week I ended up coming over to her house for the first time, she had called me crying. Her father had ended up in jail from a drunken brawl and she had no where to go. My friend was humiliated. It was so hard to watch.

I said to her, "This isn't your fault. You didn't do this."

She had said, "It doesn't matter. He is still my dad. What happens to one of us happens to all of us." She was right about that too. She felt guilty for his crime by association and thought that he cared more about the booze than about her. While her father had been the one who had gotten into the fight, the family was dragged through everything that resulted from it.

My friend's father got help. Ironically, it took getting locked up to start his recovery, but he is still sober today. My friend is still working through the years of hurt that the addiction caused her and the entire family. While she has learned that alcoholism is an illness, she is working through understanding that he was sick and had to have a lot of help and determination to overcome it. Basically, her mind tells her that it is a disease, but her heart still fights her to know that she is more important to her father than a bottle from the liquor store.

She isn't the only one that I know who has had to deal with an absent mom or dad, whether the parent is physically or mentally not present. One friend of mine has practically raised her younger siblings, for the simple reason that her parents had gotten divorced, her dad and moved away, and her mom fell into a crippling depression. Instead of letting what was going on at home make my friend slip too, she took charge of her family as best she could. She was an honors student, and really involved in school, but it was rare that you would see her around town without her two siblings in tow. It wasn't a choice she made, she felt it was her job to make sure her little brother and sister were okay. While she was working on Alegbra homework, she would simultaneously be yelling at her siblings to get ready for bed. I was amazed that she could alternate from talking about boys with me to making sure they had lunch money for the next day.

Many girls face this burden of responsibility, and it shows up in many different ways. Divorce, death, addiction, depression--they all leave a lot of us grappling to understand and having to grow up before our time.Those of us that know what growing up too soon is all about, often ask why. Unfortunately, there isn't usually an answer...

If you are affected by the abuse of alcohol by someone you love, like my friend mentioned in this post, Alateen is a wonderful organization meant to help you get through it. Click here for their website.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

GIRLS' READ OF THE MONTH

ROSIE and SKATE
By Beth Ann Bauman

Rosie and Skate are sisters trying to simply make it through with bad cards that life has dealt them. Their father is an apathetic alcoholic in jail, and their mother died before they ever had a chance to remember her. With the backdrop of the off season of the Jersey Shore as the setting, we are thrown into the stark world of what it is like to live fulltime in a vacation haven after the world has gone home.

Told from the point of view of the sisters in alternating chapters, Rosie and Skate each have distinctively realistic voices with their own unique styles of poetic rawness. Skate, sixteen, can't deal with the embarrassment that is her dad and pines for her first love, Perry, who has left the Shore for his freshman year of college a couple of hours away. Her name comes from having taken up skateboarding at an early age. She carries her board around with her almost everywhere she goes, like a fierce security blanket. Rosie,  the younger of the two, is fifteen and her mind is filled with almost constant worry about keeping her messed up family together--not to mention the normal stress of boys.  The characters that surround the sisters, like their cousin Angie who comes to stay or Perry's mom Julia, are woven into the story in a way way that makes you root for them too.

To sum it up, Rosie thinks to herself in the first chapter, "If you do nothing, then nothing will change."  We were with Rosie and Skate through every awkward stumble and each brave move, as they try to learn what their version of change will be. A powerhouse of a book, this quick read will make you think about the story and these sisters long after you have turned the final page.

Click here to buy ROSIE and SKATE on Amazon.com

This is our first book recommendation of many to come. If you want to write a guest book review, please contact us at girlsinthehallblog@gmail.com.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

HOW TO BECOME A GIRL IN THE HALL

Girls in the Hall is now on Twitter and Facebook! 
Join us on both for the latest Girls in the Hall news, posts, freebies and polls. 



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Thursday, February 18, 2010

WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?


YOU, originally uploaded by tarintowers.

Girls in the Hall is now happily able to post your comments that you submit in response to our entries. We have been tracking since the blog started last month, and see that there are lots of you reading out there, all over the world. We are beyond thrilled and want to know what you think!

Please give us feedback, so we can make sure to continue to talk about what you want to hear! All opinions and topics are fair game on our site--what you like, don't like, want to hear more about, feel like sharing, or anything else. You can leave your name or, if you want to share something personal and want to keep your identity a secret, you can just mark anonymous when leaving a comment. It is that easy.

We want to hear from you! After all, YOU are the reason this blog exists.

Have an idea for an entry? Want to write one? Email us at girlsinthehallblog@gmail.com.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

LOOKING IN THE MIRROR


Huddle In, originally uploaded by Jerrica Joy

In order to make Girls in the Hall a place that deals with important topics for real girls, I read blogs that I respect that pertains in any way to things teen. One site that I follow is www.singlemommyhood.com, which is for real families with real issues, including teen topics. I saw an article link on Twitter to a post on there about what parents should say to us girls when we feel self conscious about our bodies. I decided that I want to go straight to you all and ask, what do you want your parents to say?

The self image topic is discussed a lot in the magazines that flood our mail boxes where they tell us how we look is just fine, but then we flip the page and see another underweight model looking up at us. What is with that?

To continue with my reasoning on this blog to be brutally honest with all of you, even if that means facing myself, I will tell you that I have had body image issues in the past. In high school, I felt like mirrors were my enemy and I often avoided them at all costs. No one else really knew, it was a battle that I kept (and still do sometimes) buried inside my brain. As girls, we have been assigned the nearly impossible task of being content with what we look like, while most of our role models would be considered undernourished by doctors.

Adults usually say things like, "But you look normal!" or "Normal girls don't look like models!" Because of this, when I decided that I had enough in high school of feeling bad, I began my journey back to the real world with really learning what the meaning of normal is. The dictionary tells us that the definition of normal is "relating to, involving, or being a normal curve or normal distribution." To me, that wasn't helpful. We are all so different, how can we define ourselves by what people think is "normal"?

Where does that leave those of us who naturally fall outside of the normal spectrum? What if, in looking up what it means to be normal, it makes us judge ourselves even harsher? Sometimes normal for us isn't what is written in the books. We may know we are healthy, but still not feel good about ourselves, because of the way famous people look, what people tell us or just simply, how we feel about ourselves.

Most of our parents, like the ones who read the site I mentioned at the beginning of this post, just want us to see what they see--amazing girls, filled with so much beauty and potential--and don't know what to say to convey that.

So, my challenge to you is to find what you really like about yourself. Do you know the latest music? Are you awesome at making people laugh? Are you a good athlete? Do you write interesting journal entries? It may sound nerdy, but I swear it really, really helps. If you find something you love doing that makes you happy, that passion will make you feel beautiful, and help you find your version of normal. Then, your normal will be defined by what makes you light up, not the numbers on a scale. I know it did for me.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK


"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."-Oprah Winfrey

The reason I chose this quote is because it means very much to me. I'd want someone to stick by me and not want me just for the nice things I own.

Name: Liz Garcia
Age: 14


I am very excited for this post because it marks the first guest entry of many to come. Liz has a talent for finding great quotes, and is a wonderful addition to the Girls in the Hall team. Do you have something to say? Email us at girlsinthehallblog@gmail.com.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

TOP 10 TV TEENS


Claire Danes as Angela Chase, originally uploaded by Poewar.

After watching LIFE UNEXPECTED last night, I thought again about what an amazing character they have created with Lux. There are so many shows out there that depict girls in a shallow stereotype, and don't dig deeper. You all know which shows out there now don't give a fair shout out to girls, I don't need to mention them here. Shows written about and for teens where they really get what it is like to be a teenager are hard to come by. Some shows, in my opinion, have really gotten it. Here is my top ten list of TV characters from the past (who I miss) and a couple from the present that show what real girls are like and how awesome we can be.Whether it's a comedy, drama or an interesting combo of both, these shows got it right.

10. Amy Abbott, EVERWOOD
In a show mainly about a father and son, Amy Abbott (played by BROTHERS AND SISTERS' Emily VanCamp) was such a wonderful character that she became a crucial part of the story, not only as the love interest, but as a main facet of the show. When the show's life was ended too soon, fans cried out before the finale to know if the relationship would last. Hannah, Amy's best friend played by Sarah Drew, receives an honorable mention on this list for being Amy's voice of reason and a unique character we also adored.

9. The girls of 90210 (The Original)
Kelly Taylor (Jennie Garth), Donna Martin (Tori Spelling), Andrea Zuckerman (Gabrielle Carteris) and Brenda Walsh (Shannen Doherty) comprised the quartet that defined what the teen drama could be all about (emphasis on drama). They also showed us how hard friendships can be.

8. Topanga Lawrence, BOY MEETS WORLD
This one is cheating a little bit, since it ran for so long we watched the lead characters go from elementary school all the way to college. Danielle Fishel's Topanga started out as a nerdy annoyance to the boy of her dreams, and then became the girl of his dreams. Funny how that works out sometimes.

7. Lindsay Weir, FREAKS AND GEEKS
All of the main characters on this show were brilliant, and it was canceled before it had a chance to really reach the masses. One of my favorites was the strong and confused Lindsey Weir, played by Linda Cardellini. Sadly, the show ended before we had the chance to find out if Lindsey ever figured out what she wants out of life. We think she most certainly did.

6. Buffy Summers, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
This iconic character portrayed by Sarah Michelle Geller had to simultaneously deal with homework and slay vampires. Need I say more?

5. Jal Fazer, SKINS
SKINS, an import from England, is one of our all time favorite shows. Super controversial, it showcases the lives of a class of teens before heading to university. There is a new batch of students now, but our favorite is hands down Jal, played by Larissa Wilson, from the show's first season. Jal was genuine, smart, a fantastic musician, and a great friend to everyone on the show. We watched her conquer beyond imaginable circumstances and fight her way back to the top.

4. Rachel Berry, GLEE
Rachel, played by Lea Michele who hails from Broadway, is a quirky new face that has given us a slew of hilarity so far. Plus, she can sing. It is a win-win and it's back on in April!

3. Joey Potter, DAWSON'S CREEK
Katie Holmes' Joey, Dawson's smart and genuine lifelong friend, showed us that it isn't just ok to be the girl next door, it can rock.

2. Amy Juergens, THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER
Shailene Woodley's Amy has showed us truly how to cope with the unexpected and learn to get through, with plenty of humor and heart. Amy is a character most of us can identify with, and we always root for her to come out on top. It also doesn't hurt that her mom is played by the stellar eighties teen icon Molly Ringwald.

1. Angela Chase, MY SO-CALLED LIFE
If you have never seen this show, it is available on both DVD and season one is on Hulu. This really started it all, with a real look at what life was like for teen girls in the nineties. Starring Claire Danes in her breakout role, you will feel like you are right there with her as she tackles crazy friends, love, hair dye and learning what it means to be different.



Who is on your top list of TV teens? Did we leave anyone out? We want to know! Comment here or send us an email: girlsinthehallblog@gmail.com.

Monday, February 15, 2010

GIRL OF THE MONTH: HANNAH KEARNEY


Hannah in the Studio, originally uploaded by ahlivv.

When watching Hannah Kearney, a native of Vermont, nail that last mogul run to reach her long awaited goal of gold on Saturday night, I actually got teary eyed. I remember watching her as a nineteen year old competitor in Torino four years ago, when she entered that Olympics as a favorite and then didn't make it past the qualifying round. Instead of crawling into a cocoon and giving up, she focused the next four years, and showed up in Vancouver determined to walk away with the gold medal.

On Saturday, my friends and I crowded around the TV. We yelled across the house, and it felt like we were in the stands cheering right along side her family as she went faster than we could have imagined down the hill. She said that she came to win this time, and for all of us that get what it is like to try, fail, and then actually succeed, we knew exactly what she meant.

I decided after watching Hannah's medal ceremony (20,000 people attended!) that I wanted to have a section on here to talk about those who really exemplify what it is to be a girl in the hall. Instead of a lot of teen magazines and sites that glorify girls who are famous just to be famous or are notorious, this Girl of the Month part of the blog is going to profile all sorts of girls who don't give up, are talented, and aren't afraid to show who their true selves. Hannah Kearney is all of those of things, which is why she is the first Girl of the Month. She also often rocks braided pigtails, which is pretty frickin' awesome.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

LIFE UNEXPECTED, INDEED

OK, I have Lux fever. I can't help it. I DVRed LIFE UNEXPECTED when a friend whose opinion I trust told me that it was going to be the show to watch this season. I was skeptical... How could a show about a teen searching for her birth parents to get emancipated, and then is forced to live with them, not be fraught with cheesy cliches? Woah, was I wrong. As said in the last episode, "Good things happen in really messed up ways sometimes."

This show is INCREDIBLE! In the few weeks it has been on, I have grown to adore all of the main characters and can't wait to see what happens next. I won't give anything away--the episodes are all on Hulu. In my opinion, it is a must see. Lux (played by Brittany Robertson, who was brilliant in the movie DAN IN REAL LIFE) is a strong, smart and funny character we can all relate to. I hope we will get to follow her unique story for seasons to come. Check it out! There is finally a new show on TV about one of us again.

LIFE UNEXPECTED airs on the CW at 9pm/8pm CT.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

HIDING IT WITH A SMILE

Do you ever feel like the entire world is conspiring to make your life as difficult as possible? That's how I'm feeling today. Sometimes I think to myself that I want to be happy, I really do, I'm just not quite sure how. I know it starts with learning how to be comfortable with the girl I am, but the little thoughts in my head remind me too often to feel that I am not good enough. Through the years, I have always observed my surroundings, watching the people who seem so content with themselves and their places in the world.

True story... One year, my biology teacher assigned one of the cheerleading captains to be my lab partner. We hadn't really ever talked before. I did a mental eye roll and assumed that she would be a jack bag from watching who she hung out with, and the confidence that surrounded everything she did. I think she assumed that I was mousy and boring from the way I acted in class. We were both wrong. She ended up thinking my sarcastic jokes were hilarious, and I found out that she was really smart. We actually kinda became friends that year. One day in class, when we were assigned to dissect something disgusting like owl poop, I confessed to her, "I wish that I had everything together like you."

She told me, "I just hide the bad stuff with a smile."

We then continued on with our assignment, never talking about it again. Sometimes in the halls after that, we would flash each other a knowing smile, and that would be enough to remind us both that we weren't alone in our battles to find the real happiness of our true selves.

How hard do you have to work to feel genuinely happy with yourself? I certainly don't know, but I am determined to learn. Is anyone with me?

Friday, February 12, 2010

QUOTE OF THE WEEK (IN HONOR OF VALENTINE'S DAY)

"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle. Life is a maze and love is a riddle." -Lenka, THE SHOW

After some thought, I felt that I needed to devote two entries to the rapidly approaching Valentine's Day. I was going to gloss over the occasion, but then realized doing so would make me a real wuss. If I want all of you to get involved with this blog and share what your thoughts are, I need to be honest to my true self too. While it is easy to talk about how much we hate it, I think most of us really do want to find love and experience the full cheese factor of the holiday.

Have you ever been in love? I have, many times over, or at least I thought I was. Recently, my mom found a box in the attack of a ton of childhood belongings from when I was little. In it was an anthology of poetry by middle schoolers all around the US that a poem I had written was included in. I had completely forgotten about it, and flipped through the pages until I saw my name. What I had written was the sappiest poem imaginable (I will spare you by not sharing it here) to my then crush, who I was fairly certain was my soul mate, even though this was seventh grade. That guy was my first taste of unrequited love, and man did it hurt back then. I have always been a cheese ball. Now that anthology of middle school poetry sits gathering dust again on the top of my closest shelf and that guy I wrote the poem about has come out of the closet. Life is ironically hilarious.

Since writing that poem, I have seriously had my heart broken a few times and probably broke a couple in the process. Now, I am lucky to have found a guy who gets me, and loves me for the crazy girl that I am.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

SNOW DAY!

I know all of you are spread out across the country, but for a lot of us in the north east, we hit the jack pot of a reprieve from the day's duties thanks to the massive blizzard sweeping up through the states here.

Thinking about weather days off in the past, it made me laugh. When I went to school in Michigan, there would be TUNNELS of snow, and not a snow day in site. When I lived in Georgia, a small dusting on the ground would get us the day off. Florida, of course, doesn't have snow days (even though it did snow in some cities there last month!), they have hurricane days.

I just took a break for a minute to look out the window at the snow coming in enormous spurts like cotton balls falling from the sky. My favorite snow days were the ones that I would spend with my little sister, Katie, who is four years younger than me. A lot of the girls I went to high school with would spend those surprise days off on the phone, sleeping, or watching crappy daytime TV. Not me. The beauty of having a younger sibling is, sometimes, it lets you wait a little longer to grow up. Most snow days, our parents would still go into work, so it left Katie and me to our own devices.

The moment our parents would leave the house, we would throw on the heaviest jackets we owned, raid the (usually mostly untouched) vegetable drawer in the fridge, and head out to the snowy backyard. We'd spend hours making snow families (one snow person for each of us--mom, dad, Katie, me and our baby sis Lee) with carrot noses, sledding with garbage can tops, and making sister snow angels. We drew the line when we couldn't feel our toes anymore and would head in, where I would make us hot chocolate with entirely too much cocoa and not enough milk.

Even though it wasn't the coolest thing to admit as a teenager, my little sister was one of my best friends (and still is) on the planet. As I sit her typing this to all of you, I miss those days, and honestly (though embarrassingly) just teared up a little bit thinking about the two of us starring at our side-by-side snow angels, mine just a bit taller than hers. Today, my sister and I are both in the blizzard, but she is in DC and I am in NYC, sadly too far away to head to a backyard together. She also surpassed me in height many years ago. On days like this, I want to go back to when Katie was twelve and I was sixteen, so I could have an excuse to act like a kid again.

Monday, February 8, 2010

THOSE CRAZY VALENTINE'S TRADITIONS

The holiday anticipated and dreaded by many is almost here. Before finding my guy, Valentine's Day was a potential bright spot in the winter to look forward to that almost always ended up being a dismal disappointment. Usually, it consisted of me day dreaming that the guy I had a crush on, who had never really talked to me before and probably didn't even know my name, approached me in the hallway with confessions of undying love. Sometimes my mind cast a movie star as the leading man, who I imagined would pull up to school in a limo and take me away from everything, like Richard Gere did for Julia Roberts in PRETTY WOMAN. Ah, daydreams can be nice sometimes...

...Then, real life crashes you right back on down. What Valentine's Day traditions does your school have? Here are some of my favorite real Valentine's Day experiences (favorite being used mostly sarcastically here).

Carnations: One school I went to has a long standing tradition called the "Flower Power Drive" (OK, I may be making up that title, but a lame name goes with a lame tradition) where you hand over a dollar to the student council, pick a carnation (red means passion-insert gag noise here, pink is love/like, and white is friendship), write a note to attach to the flower, and the carnation/card package is delivered to the recipient of your choice in homeroom the morning of the Hallmark holiday. In an ideal world, this would be a perfectly adorable tradition where everyone would get their own massive bouquet and dance around happily while reading their notes. However, we all know that world only exists in an alternate universe where acne isn't a problem and everyone gets asked to prom. The worst part was, the rep from Student Council delivering them would announce everyone's name one at a time and when your name was called you had to go to the front of the class to retrieve your flowers or lack there of, so trying to keep the amount you got private wasn't an option. I remember that some girls, like most of the cheerleaders, would get dozens of all the different colors. Other girls wouldn't get any. My friends and I took note of those girls who came up carnationless in our grade--who were all really nice, by the way--and would send them a white one. After all, if I hadn't had my few super close friends to count on, most years I wouldn't have gotten any. We all had to look out for each other--this holiday tradition was like combat of the ego. It's like the school created this tradition of a real popularity contest masquerading as fun where they could gather statistics. One year, I did actually get a pink rose and almost freaked out on site. When I opened it, the sender was indeed my very secret crush, who was a good friend of mine. Our relationship was girl likes boy/boy sees girl as sister type, so I was thrilled. However, upon further inspection, I saw that he had signed the card, "Your Friend." Your friend?! Imagine my humiliation when he confessed that he was color blind and hadn't noticed the difference between the pale pink and off white of the flowers. That was the best, really. Actually, that flower and the discussion of its color led to one of my first boyfriends and someone who is still a good friend of mine today. This tradition also taught my friends and I that, regardless of how many metaphorical carnations we will get throughout life, we have the power in being able to give them to make someone's day.

Valentine's Day Assemblies: On this particular year, I was sitting in the back of the auditorium counting down the hour until school was over. They had forced the entire student body to attend their LUV (yeah, it was spelled that way) Assembly, which was intended to create student morale but most of us loathed. I was simply minding my own business, writing a note to a friend about how dumb the gathering was, when I heard my name over the loud speaker. Total and complete humiliation! After protesting, two teachers came up and forced me to walk down to the stage for our school's version of The Dating Show as reluctant contestant number three. The guy we were competing for was a foreign exchange student from Guatemala. Whenever it was my turn, he kept asking me to repeat myself, which made me turn bright red, making the crowd fall further and further into laughter. I searched for any phrase I had picked up in my three years of Spanish class, and could only conjure up "Te amo" (which means I love you). Unfortunately for me, it is also phonetically very close to "Te llamo" (What is your name?). I kept saying "Te amo" over and over again so he kept repeating Alejandro, which is of course, his name. When the judging came around, Alejandro said to the host, "I don't think I can go with contestant number three. She can't even remember my name." You can guess how I ultimately feel about assemblies where student participant is mandatory. Ugh.

Old School Cards: My favorite tradition wasn't an official one, the students just randomly started it. We would buy those little Valentine's Day cards that you give out in elementary school and put them in each other's lockers. Then, you could read them on your own time and no one had to know how many you got. One time, I even gathered up my courage and sent an anonymous one to the guy I liked that year. He had no clue who it was and went around asking everyone. I didn't have the guts to tell him it was me, but my friends and I enjoyed watching him chase the mystery.

My favorite high school Valentine's celebration was the year it fell on a Friday and my closest friends came over. We ordered pizza, watched girlie movies like YOU'VE GOT MAIL, and stayed up most of the night talking, laughing and making fun of those stupid but right-of-passage Valentine's traditions. I do also like the messages on those little candy hearts. That's just me, though.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

GONE WAY TOO EARLY

I was just sent this article from the Boston Globe called The Untouchable Mean Girls, sharing the tragic story of fifteen year old Phoebe Prince, pictured here.

Phoebe had just moved from Ireland to Massachusetts. Accounts say that she was tormented by girls at her new school for being different and also getting the attention of a senior football player, who asked her to a big dance. Two days before that dance, Phoebe was taunted on her walk home from school by girls who road in a car next to her, throwing things at her and calling her unthinkably cruel names. When she finally reached her house that day, she went up to her room and hung herself in her closet, and her lifeless body was found by her twelve year old sister. Online memorials were set up for Phoebe, but those girls who had ruined the last weeks of her life were determined to not let her memory be honored in peace. Her parents decided to bury Phoebe in Ireland, far away from where these girls could damage her soul anymore.

I know that there are a lot of us who understand all too well what Phoebe must have felt at that school. We are silent soldiers, roaming the halls looking for a way out or a way to be accepted for who we are. Even though it doesn't feel like it, for every mean girl out there, there are at least five of us, trying to get through life, day by day.

Link for the Boston Globe Article: http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2010/01/24/the_untouchable_mean_girls/?s_campaign=8315

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

WHO IS A GIRL IN THE HALL?

Going forward with this blog, it is important for me to explain the unique community you have joined. We fill the halls at every high school. We are girls from all around the country that will become doctors, artists, teachers, politicians, lawyers, soldiers, chefs and so much more. GIRLS IN THE HALL is a safe place to discuss things that matter and be yourself. Different has can be, united as one, we are all girls in the hall.

2/1 QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"The invisible are always so resolutely invisible, until you see them."
-Jonathan Lethem, CHRONIC CITY

I was on a plane over the weekend, sandwiched between a baby screaming at decibels that would freak out my dog, and a guy who kept chanting under his breath to cope with his fear of flying. Thankfully, I had the new novel CHRONIC CITY to pass the time. When I came across the passage with the quote above, I had to write it down. What does it mean to be invisible?

Do you ever feel like you don't exist to others? I do sometimes. Going from school to school, I have often done my personal best, which was award worthy, of blending in. This meant that instead of just fitting into the crowd, the halls all but sucked me in. As a means to survive, I made my self resolutely invisible to nearly everyone, even though I longed for people to notice me.

At my first high school, I had a massive crush on this guy whose identity was being the best hitter on the baseball team. To protect the guilty, let's call him Ted. Two months into going to school there, I saw a sign for play auditions, which was posted by the Drama Club for Shakespeare's great comedy, TWELFTH NIGHT. Though terrifying for me, I went to the auditions and actually got cast as one of the leads. Tim saw the play for English class credit and came up to me after the curtain call. He actually said I was amazing!

The following week, he called me and asked me out. We went for Chinese, and I couldn't believe that he was interested in me. Somewhere between the Peking duck and fortune cookies, Tim dropped his chopsticks on the floor twice (he reused them!) and made fun of nearly everyone with an IQ above Forrest Gump level in our classes (we had three together, though he had never paid attention to me before).

Of course, that was the last date I went on with Tim. I do thank him for teaching me one thing, though. As I figure out who I am, I now know that one thing I will never be again is invisible.

THE FIRST DAY

When people ask me where I am from, which happens a lot with my muddled accent from living a lot of places, what I really want to say is: "I’m from everywhere and nowhere, all at the same time. I haven’t really been anywhere long enough to call home."

My current tally is fifteen places in six different states, which I think makes me pretty qualified in the world of feeling different. Over the years, as I have talked to people about my experiences at so many schools, I found that not just girls who have been new could relate, but also those who have ever felt like an outsider. After talking with friends and scouring the internet, I realized that we need an online community for those who get what it is like to feel different in high school. This blog was born.

As I type this inaugural entry, the start to the community that I have wanted to begin for so long, I feel like I am having another of my many first days of school. My stomach flip flops at the potential of reaching all of you and making cool friends all over the country, but also at the fear that you won't listen to me and I will blend into the halls, like at so many schools. I have been the book nerd, the cheerleader, the drama freak and the over-achiever, and now just want to be me.

Please join me on here. Whether you have topics you want discussed, questions, advice or stories about what is going on with you in high school, I want to hear it! We get it, and you. Message me and let's get started! xo