QUOTE OF THE WEEK

I am a cold seahorse, originally uploaded by -Emily Smith.

Boys are beyond the range of anyone's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.

-James Thurber

One of us Girls in the Hall posted this quote on Facebook the other day, and we have to agree. Why is it that guys are so incredibly difficult to understand? Also, why is it so hard for them to understand us?

We want them to get us... We talk with them in detail about our problems, feelings, and thoughts on life. In return, we are sometimes greeted with a blank stare. Sound familiar? When asked, "What are you thinking?", we sometimes say, "Nothing." Despite the fact that, at any one instant, we may be simultaneously thinking about our math homework, after school practice and needing to finish chores before our parents yell at us. When we ask them what they are thinking, they say "Nothing," and actually mean it (how is that possible?!). Guys can be INFURIATING.

On the flip side, some of my favorite memories are with my high school guy friends. One taught me how to drive stick shift in his Volvo station wagon. Another challenged me to a pizza slice eating contest (I won, for those who care). Homecoming my freshman year rocked because one of my good guy pals took me. Sometimes the grounding and simplicity of a solid friendship with a guy who makes us laugh or just listens is exactly what we need. Guys might not always be able to decode our feelings, or say the right things--just like we can't do that for them some of the time.

Besides, isn't not getting them part of the fun? We think so.

GIRLS' MOVIE REVIEW: PROM NIGHT IN MISSISSIPPI

Have you ever seen a film so jarring to everything familiar to your world that it lingers in your brain long after you've watched it? That is how we felt about HBO's Prom Night in Mississippi. The 2008 documentary follows one high school's journey in Charleston, Mississippi from having racially segregated proms to having one prom. Yes, you read that date right--2008! Can you imagine not just having to deal with the pressure of finding a date and dress, but having to deal with going to a school that has both a "white prom" and a "black prom"?

The actor Morgan Freeman, a Charleston resident, shows up at the start of the film to offer the students a proposal--combine the two proms into one and he will buy them the prom of their dreams. The majority of the students quickly agree, but how much will the few teens with racist views--or worse, the parents--hamper the school's progress?

This movie is definitely worth a watch. By the end of the film, we felt invested in each personal story of the courageous teens who stood up in front of the camera for what's right. Check it out and if you are hitting up prom this year, you just might pause when on the dance floor with your entire school to think about the teens down in Charleston, finally getting to do the same thing.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Reflection, originally uploaded by Jade M. Sheldon.

"Understand me, take me, fully
Underground where I can not be found.
And a letter that you wrote that had been stashed inside my wall
Telling me all about your life

It had been there for a quite a while 

It skipped out certain chapters
That I thought had really mattered and now I feel like I missed out."
-Kate Nash, PICK POCKET

Since the review was posted yesterday for Kate Nash's My Best Friend is You, the songs have been running through our heads. She has so many fab lyrics, that it was hard to pick just one for our Quote of the Week. In light of the bullying blog from earlier this week, the above quote just seemed to fit. With how cruel and judgmental our peers are sometimes, it is often hard to take off the masks of who we are supposed to be and allow our awesomely unique inner selves to shine through. Most of us hide fractions of our personality that help mold who we are in an effort to get through the school day and be accepted. It is one of the saddest things about our culture, I think.

A lot of us feel trapped in the confines of the girls we are supposed to be--the world in general and the world inside the halls of school tell us how to dress, act and what to say we are interested in. The pressure to go against that and reveal our personalities can feel unbearable at times. We dream of having someone in our lives who will accept the real us (to take us fully), with whom we can find a safe place to share who we are (underground where we cannot be found). Whether we put this trust in a friend, someone we are dating or a relative, we just want a pass of acceptance in a barrier free environment.

Of course, this should go both ways. A mutual bond of any kind is a sacred part of life, and with that comes learning not only to voice your real truth, but also to listen to others. A lot of us having problems with finding this balance. Some of us have learned to find the trust in these connections and forget to listen as much as we should. Others have become master listeners, always there to lend an ear, but forget to pipe up and lean on someone when they need it. I am still finding this balance.

One of my best friends in the entire world went through some major stuff last year and really opened up to me. We have been through a lot together over the years, and she is like a sister. It felt really great that I could be there for her amongst the swirls of chaos in her life at that time. This year, when it came my time to open up, I shut everyone out. I was then forced to face the sad truths about myself--my pride and fear of trust are two things that I need to overcome. My best friend wanted to be there for me, but I skipped sharing the chapters of my life where I really needed someone because of my own fear. Have you ever been scared to make this leap of sharing?

I have learned that when you make those bonds where you can trust someone and be trusted in return, even though it is scary, making the jump is an important part of growing up. Your heart will get bruised along the way, but that makes you appreciate the real deals when they come along. As hard as it has been for me to learn, starting now, those that I let into my inner circle get to see the full book that is me--bruises and all.

GIRLS' MUSIC REVIEW: KATE NASH

Kate Nash, originally uploaded by beezeebeebee.

The votes are in from us for the new Kate Nash album, My Best Friend Is You, and we are simply in love. Her first album, Made of Bricks (which we used a lyric from as this Quote of the Week back in March) played on ipod loop almost non stop when it first came out, so we were nervous as to whether or not she could follow up such artistic success in her second album. Often put in the same category as Lily Allen since both are England based, we think they are distinctly different in vibe and style.

We ultimately think that the new album is less focused than the first, but we are cool with that. Both albums carry a resonance with us girls, but in very different ways. Made of Bricks was much lighter and more tender. My Best Friend is You is filled with the lyrics of being in a crisis of self reflection, identity and dealing with others. These thoughts are evident in "Do Wah Doo" (I'll just read a book instead/I don't care if we're just friends) to "Don't You Want to Share the Guilt?" (Thinking is one of those stressful things I've ever come across/And not being able to articulate what I want to say drives me crazy). Whether we are talking to boys we like, parents, teachers or friends, most of us can relate to not always having the right thing to say that describes how we feel. Nash is not only able to capture this frustration of communication barriers, but also how raw anger creeps in when we get frustrated.

Some of our favorite tracks on the album are "I Hate Seagulls," a play on a love song while expressing unrelated disappointment in life, and "Pickpocket," about saying goodbye to a relationship of sorts gone awry.This album is also packed full of fab high energy songs that are nicely juxtaposed with some heartbreaking lyrics. We have had our speakers turned all the way up to jump around to "Take me to a Higher Plane," "Paris" and "Early Christmas Present."

We think Kate Nash rocks for so many reasons--from her catchy melodies that get stuck in your head (in a good way) to her lyrics of sheer honesty--we want to induct her into the Girls in the Hall Club as one of our across the pond members and would happily be her friends anytime.


Warning--This album has some mature language and subject matter.

TARGET, BULLY OR BYSTANDER

Friends: What would we do with out them?, originally uploaded by Her life in pictures.

I went to a new school my senior year, thousands of miles away from the town I had called home the years before. That fall, I managed to make a small but precious handful of friends, mostly kept to myself, and looked forward to college. One night, I turned on my computer to look up some research for class and a new email popped up. I read it in disbelief--the subject of the email was "WATCH YOUR BACK." The rest of it, which was signed in a cowardly anonymous threat, detailed how the group writing the email was going to kill me at school or in my bedroom when I wasn't expecting it. They said they knew my entire class schedule, where I lived and who my family was. I felt helpless to the terror at the thought of being along and vulnerable to an attack from a faceless internet voice. My parents asked me for a list of suspects and I had no idea, as I didn't really know anyone and thought that I hadn't gone to school there long enough to make enemies. My mom called the police, who investigated and then refused to reveal who had threatened me because, as they told my parents, "This kid comes from a good family and promised not to do it again." I remember staying home from school the next day and doing anything I could to get out of going to school in the days following. I was terrified, humiliated and desperately sad. My parents wanted to push and press charges, or tell my teachers--I begged them not to pursue any of those routes, for fear that it would make things worse. I never did find out who sent me that email, but the thought of reading it for the first time still makes me shutter.

Then, there was the time that I watched a group of my popular friends ridicule a kid who was in the drama club with me. Let's call him Ben. They would yell at Ben for the scribbles he would write on his shoes, noting his animal rights activism. They called him a "weirdo", "lame" and sometimes worse. Instead of standing up for him, I would watch his eyes weld up as he tried to get through the hall undetected. We were friends in drama class, but I was too chicken to stand up for him. That look on his face that still floats around my brain from time to time is one of my biggest regrets.

Girls in the Hal first blogged about the tragedy of Phoebe Prince's suicide when it broke in the news a few months ago. Since then, her story of being relentlessly harassed by classmates has been heard around the country and the students that drove her into the deep hole of depression she never crawled out of are now being charged on several counts by the government. Phoebe's story has reached far and wide--from her yearbook photo on the cover of People Magazine this month to articles in the New York Times. Nearly all of these news reports ask the question of not just how bullying could get so out of control, but how it can be stopped to prevent more tragedies like the loss of Phoebe Prince.

I can't even begin to imagine the depth of pain that Phoebe felt with the torture she had to bear before she felt that she had to end her life. I also can't even begin to imagine what would lead teens to want to hurt someone so badly to actually insult her memory online after her death. Prompted by Phoebe's suicide, the media has responded by generating a slew of TV and radio ads to highlight the anti-bullying movement.

Bullying is in every school across our country, and in many other countries around the world. There are the teens who take it, nearly every day, and try to get by. There are also the ones who watch it happen from a distance for self-preservation, scared to step in. Then, there are the ones who are the bullies that the rest of us can't figure out. The internet has brought a new level to bullying, which has grown rampant. Opposingviews.com tell us that a whopping 35% of us have been bullied online, and one in five of that percentage have been victimized on the internet more than once.

In researching sites and articles about this huge issue, we came across Pacer Center's Teens Against Bullying and want to get the word out about it to all of our Girls in the Hall. This fantastic site, endorsed by Demi Lovato--who was a victim to bullying in school--has a quiz that will shock on facts about bullying, tips on what you can do, and a spot to read other's accounts of bullying and write about your own. Whether you are what Teens Against Bullying calls a target, bully or a bystander like I was with Ben, this site identifies what's up and how you can take a stand. It also reminds us through other teens around the country that we all need to stand up to this monster of a problem and be united in our cause, while still maintaining our individuality.

Girls in the Hall wants to hear from you. Please share your stories and what your thoughts are on this issue. Just think--if you have the courage to speak out, another girl on another computer in another town could feel the same way. We have the power. While the cruelty of bullying and how to cure our world of it has me stumped, I do know that one thing we need to learn to count on is the strength we can find by not only watching our own backs, but learning to watch each other's.

SONG OF THE SEASON

Macro iPod, originally uploaded by lily_bart.

The weather has finally changed (yes!) and spring is here, headed into the precious months of summer. Soon, school will be out (for those lucky enough to not have the year round schedule), the beaches will be flooded with tides of tourists, and the thermostat will sky rocket. In short, it is my favorite time of year.

My good friend and I wandered around New York City yesterday afternoon, and the buzz of happiness about the warm weather and green on the trees was unavoidable. We sat in the park and people watched. Even the babies who were strapped in strollers by parents or older siblings seemed to have a permanent smile on their little faces. I overheard a group sharing their pending trips for the summer and how they couldn't wait for school to be out (even if it meant forced family fun). There we all were, strangers united by the fantastic weather and milkshakes, happily letting the sun slip by from east to west.

As my friend and I enjoyed the day, we started talking about soundtracks of this season. Each year, there are always those summer songs that define the warm months. This soundtrack is usually comprised of both songs that have come out for the purpose of being the song of the summer (like Kid Rock's ALL SUMMER LONG last year, which you couldn't stop hearing anywhere you went, even if you tried to tune it out!) or those random songs that find you through memories made that particular summer.

I have had this discussion in the past. Last year, I debated for what felt like hours about which song is really the ultimate summer song. I had been a fierce advocate for Beyonce's CRAZY IN LOVE, which reminded me of when I first got to the Big Apple and how exciting it was just to walk around the streets and people watch (it still is, as per my story above). My friend fought for SUMMER OF '69, a wicked awesome song by Bryan Adams, because her sister had introduced her to it a few years before. Another talked about The Lovin Spoonful's SUMMER IN THE CITY and how it reminded her of being little when her mom would sing it to her. Side note: Regina Spektor put out a great song of the same title in 2006, which has a place in my top ten of summer songs. In the end that night last year, we decided that finding one song to encompass how all of us felt about the season was impossible. We put all of our songs on the jukebox where we were and loved each of them (some, more than others).

Yesterday, my friend and I joined up with another of our group and decided that we needed one song for our gang to represent 2010--we wanted one track that, whenever it came on Pandora or our ipod shuffles, we would think of each other and that moment. As the sun came down and we made our way to a friend's restaurant for dinner, we chatted about this. We are an odd crew, so from an earlier suggestion by a friend, we decided on the George Harrison (yes, the very same as the Beatles' icon) cover song from the 80s, I GOT MY MIND SET ON YOU. This song was originally recorded by James Ray in 1962, but the fantastically 80s version performed by George Harrison made it a staple on the radio in 1988. Harrison's version has the perfect blend of cheesy 80s synthesizer and catchy hook. We are a pretty nerdy (and sentimental) group, so having a summer song represent us where the music video showcases singing taxidermied animals kinda works. If you haven't ever danced around to this silly song, check it out (but don't judge us!):

Upon deciding we needed to hear our song right away, we asked our friend managing the small restaurant were we were to put it on the sound system. Sadly, the three minutes and fifty-three seconds passed all too quickly. What were we to do? We glanced around at the other patrons and decided to go for it. My friend grabbed the ipod and hit the back button. In trepidation, we started to bob our heads again, worried what the other patrons might say at hearing this super 80s song back to back. We were greeted with a vast majority of the patrons singing along and bobbing their heads in mutual happiness. We had discovered a song that was infectious in the simple joy that playing it caused. I GOT MY MIND SET ON YOU officially became our song and I will always smile when I hear it because of last night.

What is your ultimate summer song? Girls in the Hall wants to know! I might be listening to George Harrison on loop right now, but SHHH!, it is our secret.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"Balance Everything", originally uploaded by michduchene.

"I never knew so young a body with so old a head."
-William Shakespeare, THE MERCHANT OF VENICE

Being a theatre dork, it was only a matter of time before one of our Girls in the Hall quotes came back to Shakespeare. This particular one popped into my head last night after talking with a group of juniors and sophomores who are part of a group that goes to see a play every week and then discusses what they have seen. Their insights were brilliant, and their passion for arts was contagious.

Do you ever feel like you are an old soul trapped in a young body? That is what these words of Shakespeare translate to me. It was my hands down favorite quote of the bard when I read it for the first time in English class, and has stayed with me through a lot of years and daydreams.

Of course, there are the girls who the opposite of this is true--the ones who dress like twenty-five year olds, but probably couldn't name any of the works of Shakespeare. There was a time when I envied these girls. They wore miniskirts the first day of spring, and my friends and I were more comfortable in t-shirts and flip-flops. They dated the boys that we doodled about in notes. I loved decoding metaphors and similes in English class, they sat in the back and threw spit balls at the teacher. You get the picture here, and I am sure know many a girl like this at your school. I would often look at them and think that I was born in the wrong time period. Staring out at the fence at the edge of school, I wanted to break free and fast forward or rewind to another decade. I felt like the universe had spit me out in a place where my old soul didn't belong.

Then, I read THE MERCHANT OF VENICE and this quote changed me. It was only as I kept rereading that same line, sitting on my school's lawn, headphones in and highlighter out, that I realized I had been wrong my entire life. Really, really wrong. My old soul was not a weakness, it was my greatest strength.