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Monday, March 7, 2011

GIRLS IN THE HALL: ECUADOR EDITION

Remar Orphanage, taken by GIRLS IN THE HALL

The streets are lined with stray dogs, litter and vendors selling everything ranging from fresh popcorn to sunglasses. The background is dappled with lush green mountains, and the sky alternates almost to the minute with fierce sun and cloudy mists of mystery. Welcome to Quito, the capital of Ecuador. This was my home for two weeks at the end of February.

An imposing metal door clicks open as I ring the bell, the security guard is a girl no more than thirteen years old with spiral curls and a New York Yankees sweatshirt. Chaos of little hands grab at my clothes as young children spring up around me, I am the unfamiliar face piquing curiosity amongst everyone inside the walls of this place, the biggest orphanage in Quito. I have a smattering of presents for the little ones, but they are not why I have come here. I look around and see all of the reasons why I have traveled to another continent....

There is a girl in the corner, sweeping up the dirt that has crept into the dining hall. Two girls lift the trash of the day's breakfast into the dumpster. Three girls sit on the concrete wall and take turns holding each other's babies. More girls help out with the toddlers, who respond to them as if they are being raised by not one mom, but a pack--which is true. The girls, who range in ages 11-22, are the foundation of this orphanage. They are the mothers to the motherless, even though most of them do not know who their mothers are or, if they do remember, most of them wish they didn't.

As I am introduced to these teens, all of the girls are distant and polite, tolerating me because they know it is important to be nice to the volunteers coming from around the world. When I try to take their pictures, they look away, cross their arms, or glare--the photos from the afternoon turn out to be a manifestation of just how uncomfortable one can look when posing for a picture when uncomfortable inside the trap of low self esteem.

The head of the orphanage, a passionate and incredibly resourceful woman, speaks to me kindly, but it is all business. She doesn't have time to give to the volunteer from the United States. It is clear that I must find my own way, somehow, with these girls. I then think of what the next day has in store and smile to myself.

When I raised the money to go on this journey, my core friends and supporters of Girls in the Hall sat with me for hours coming up with ideas of just what to do once I had raised the money to go to Ecuador. A good friend, Michael Aaron Capps, who is also a personal stylist to the stars and elite of New York alike, said to me, "Let's cut their hair. That is what I want my donation to go for." Michael's mantra is CHANGE YOUR LOCKS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE. It was to be the first real interaction I had with the girls of the orphanage.

The next day, I had arranged with my host mom for two respected stylists in Ecuador to travel to the orphanage to do thirty haircuts, complete with highlights. We walk into the orphanage, and the girls are nervous. All in Spanish, many of them say, "No one is touching my hair, it is all I have." Then, we unpack the bags of scissors, dye and hope. Slowly, the girls circle around us, asking we are doing this for them. They are suspicious. I say the lines that I have learned in their language, "We are doing this as a gift to you from the world because you are a gift to the world. You are beautiful, and we want you to look in the mirror and see it."

With trepidation, one girl volunteers to go first. Then a second, then a third, then a fourth until they are enraptured of the process. The stylists consult on which cuts are best and what color of highlights the girls want (there's an array of reds, blues, blonds and whites). Slowly, the images I have captured on my camera go from smileless faces, like this:


To after photos when the girls have finished their haircuts:









I talk to the girls about their new haircuts, and the universality of the need for self worth within all of us girls becomes abundantly apparent. A simple thing that many of us take for granted such as a good haircut, one example of how we each show our identity to the world, can transform and make one feel great from the outside on in.

The next day, Diana, one of the girls who had her haircut the day before, yells out, "Hola!" to me as she opens the door to let me into the world of the orphanage. Instead of looks merely tolerating me, I am welcomed with hugs and questions asking what we are doing for the day. We all sit down in the cafeteria and I pull out stacks of composition books brought from the US and a bag containing a zillion creative possibilities. I ask them how many have a safe place to record their ambitions, worries and thoughts--a place that is truly their own for what is going on inside their brains. They all say no. So, we create them by covering the composition books into a diary of dreams for each girl. Andrea's has a glitter heart with wings and Anita's name is emblazoned across hers in blue letters. They proudly hold up their works of art that will soon have the insides lined with pencil filled reflections:





The next days are filled with sharing, laughing and communicating. We even record videos on the flip cam that a generous friend loaned me.  Suddenly, these quiet girls have let me in and I go from being an outsider to becoming a friend, which is one of the greatest presents I have ever received.

These girls changed my life. They showed me that at our core, we all share the same heart, soul and needs. I watched in awe at their perserverance and positivity to get through the days and enjoy life. We all need to learn about the world around us. We all need to do things to make us feel good about ourselves. We all need to do things to bring out our creative spirits. Despite where we came from, where we live, what we do---around the world, we are all girls in the hall.

For more photos of the Girls in the Hall trip to Ecuador, including before and after photos with the haircuts and journal craft day, check out our Facebook page. Leave us a comment about what you think!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

BEING BRIGHT

everything is illuminated, originally uploaded by lagordajarra.

How many times have you known the answer in class, only to argue in your brain as to whether you should raise your hand and risk talking in front of the class? Moreover, how many times have you decided not to raise your hand for fear of being considered "nerdy", or worse, getting the answer wrong?

When I was little, I was told that I was smart, like really smart. The years passed and I fell into the trap sometimes known as the high school classroom, where answering a teacher's question sometimes was in tandem with social ridicule. As a result, the nagging feeling of incompetency crept into my confidence and I began to doubt, well, myself. The girl who was on math team in elementary school needed extra tutoring to get through Alegbra II. I blinked and didn't know what had happened to the pint sized smart spit-fire of my early childhood days. I knew I had changed, but didn't really know why. As a grown up, trying to manage a company is still a challenge for a lot of the reasons that linger in my brain from high school. "What did I do to make them upset me?" "How come that manager gets what he wants without as much effort as me?" 'Why do I second guess my choices?" and, most detrimental, "Why am I so freakin' hard on myself?"

A Girl in the Hall forwarded us this fascinating article, THE TROUBLE WITH BRIGHT GIRLS, in the Huffington Post. In it, Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson, details the facts and her viewpoint on a study of how "bright" girls and boys digested and attempted to tackle tasks in fifth grade. The result was astounding--the girls who were considered the "brightest" were the first to give up on a task, while boys (the rowdier, the more attention they got), plowed through the tasks without every questioning their abilities.

We are all "bright girls" in some way--whether you can ace the SAT, play an instrument with drive and skill, are the top of the list for babysitters in your area, run the fastest mile or are always there for your friends--we all have a light inside, a brightness that is beckoning to get out in some way. Maybe, just maybe, if we can give ourselves the gift of confidence while still in high school before being let out into the halls of adulthood, our gifts can shine out into the world.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

GIRLS IN THE HALL GOES INTERNATIONAL

mapped, originally uploaded by scoremat.

Have you ever taken a leap and done something completely out of your comfort zone? Tried out for a sport you have never told anyone you were interested in doing? Auditioned for the school play even though you have stage fright akin to a deer caught in headlights? Submitted a letter to the editor of your school paper about a hot topic at school, worried what people would think about you? If you haven't, I am sure you have thought or even dreamed of conquering a fear and going for "it"--what "it" may mean for you.

In a few weeks, I will be conquering a major "it" on my list. With the Girls in the Hall mantra of every girl being themselves while surviving the hard times of teen years, I will be flying to Quito, the capital of Ecuador, and volunteering in an orphanage with at risk teen girls. What does that mean? There will be 30 girls, ages 13-22, who want to learn about the arts and, in turn, about themselves. Some of these girls were left at the orphanage as babies and don't know any other sort of life. Others were left by their parents later on in childhood, and remember their families. The older girls in the group are moms themselves, and their babies live at the orphanage too.

The plan: to get together every day for nearly two weeks and learn about ourselves and each other through writing, expressing emotions and sharing. Then, I will blog about it for all of the English speaking Girls in the Hall to hear about what life as a teen in Ecuador really is about--the real scoop.

The catch?

My Spanish is bad. I mean, really really bad. MUY MALO! So, this is probably the biggest experiment of my life. Will I be able to share the Girls in the Hall spirit with these girls without knowing all of the words and communicating through emotion and understanding, and then accurately relay the journey to all of you? Time will indeed tell.

Here's where you come in! Have you wondered what it is like to grow up in a country so different from your own? We are collecting questions from teens here to ask the girls over there. Then, we will blog the answers to your question directly from the girls in Ecuador. Leave a comment on this post with your questions or drop us an email at girlsinthehallblog@gmail.com. We want to hear from you to ask real questions, from teen to teen.

Friday, January 21, 2011

OUR FIRST TEEN CONTRIBUTOR

Here is our first Teen Contributor entry! Have something to say? Look at the bottom of this post for details on how you can be featured on Girls in the Hall and win a Barnes and Noble E-Gift Card.

 _____________________________________________________________
MIRROR, WHO ARE YOU?
A poem and photo by Lee, 18, Florida  

I look in the shining glass with white covering these empty walls.
All I want is to be loved by myself and the ones around me
Like these walls I have scars and bruises I can never get rid of:
Love can be a very good thing
sometimes walls cover candy pink and apple red
Then again Love can be a damp thing
covering the walls of gloomy blue and coal black
At times I feel like re-painting these walls
to make them what I feel is happening 
Then the tears start running down my face
and the sunshine fades to a thunder storm
It’s hard to pick the pieces up after a long day of crying
As I talk to my friends and family
the storm suddenly ends and possibilities come my way
So mirror on the wall I look at you in awe wondering 
where you are taking my life when will you finally show!
_____________________________________________________________

Do you have an original...
Short story? 
Poem?
Essay?
Photograph?
Book/Film/TV review?
Recipe?
Editorial?

Send it to us at girlsinthehallblog@gmail.com for a chance to be published on Girls in the Hall and win a Barnes and Noble E-Gift Card. You could be next!










Monday, January 17, 2011

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Failure, originally uploaded by Diana Pinto.



"Don't forget to win first place 
Don't forget to keep that smile on your face." 
-Alanis Morissette, PERFECT

Pressure, pressure, pressure. How many of you feel it? I do. Sometimes it sufficates me from all around. In high school, I went through a (very long) phase where I listened to this song on repeat--when I woke up in the morning and brushed my teeth while reviewing flash cards for Spanish or in my headphones as I ran from drama-to-cheerleading-to-study hall-to-babysitting. It was the perfect soundtrack to the loop of worry "what if's" in my head.... What if I didn't make the grade and didn't get into just the right college? What if dad won't be proud of me anymore if a fail? What if I let my team down? What if my teachers think I am stupid? What if my sister thinks I suck? What if my boyfriend won't like me for not wanting to go beyond kissing? What if people don't like me?

We are taught to go through life with these thoughts of potential failure as the end all, be all of how to measure life's success. Don't get me wrong, some pressure is good, like the adrenal you get right before running at a track meet or going up in front of a crowd to give a speech. I am finally learning how to separate the good from the bad.

While most of us are taught to be incredibly afraid of failure, society tells us we need to grin through it. Some think that expressing fear is weakness. We at Girls in the Hall know that it is the exact opposite--a girl who is able to voice her fears is not only being honest with the world, but counts as one of the bravest. Just think, these fears are shared by many.

This photo was taken by a great teen photographer, who we found on flickr.com. Her caption is, "
This is pretty much how I feel all the time. Wrote that on my hand yesterday in Latin class to remind myself of what I am. This isn't for attention, it's to express myself." When stumbling upon this while looking for Girls in the Hall photos, it reminded us that we are not alone and sparked this blog. Imagine if we could all talk about when we feel like this without society telling us to keep it bottled inside.



I love giving everything I start my best effort and I have now learned that it's ok to make some mistakes along the way. After all, mistakes are the pieces of a patchwork quilt that warm fear of failure away.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

CALLING ALL TEEN WRITERS


It's official! Girls in the Hall has hit 100 posts coming into 2011.

With our 100th, we are putting the word out. Do you enjoy writing? Whether you have ever thought about becoming a writer, love journaling or have pondered what it would be like to type out some thoughts on the computer, Girls in the Hall is looking for you!

We are in search of teen contributors.

What do you want to share with the world? Whether it is a book/music/movie review, advice you have to give, fiction you have written, or you just have something to say, we want to know. Any original blog you have written for real girls living real high school lives is fair game.

Plus, if your entry is chosen to be published on Girls in the Hall, you will win a Barnes and Noble Gift Card!

Submit your blogs to us at girlsinthehallblog@gmail.com along with your first name, state/country and age. Will notify winners within two weeks of submission.

So, what are ya waiting for? We look forward to reading what you have to share.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

FIRST 2011 QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Happy New Year, originally uploaded by Calsidyrose.


Peppermint Patty: It's been a great year, Chuck. You'll have to admit that. What you do think, Chuck, would be good rules for living in the New Year?


Charlie Brown: Keep the ball low, don’t leave your crayons in the sun, use dental floss every day, don’t spill the shoe polish, always knock before entering, don’t let the ants get in the sugar, never volunteer to be a program chairman, always get your first serve in, and feed your dog whenever he’s hungry.

Peppermint Patty: Will those rules give me a better life, Chuck?

Charlie Brown: The better life and a fat dog.
-CHARLIE BROWN

How did you ring in the New Year? At a party? At home watching the Jersey Shore cast on MTV or Dick Clark do the Times Square countdown? Regardless of where you were, I am sure that you were wondering about the possibilities of 2011. I know I was--and still am.

The opportunities to start something new for the future with the foundations of the past are both thrilling and daunting. One thing I definitely know is that the second year of Girls in the Hall will be a great new chapter where we will continue to bring you our thoughts--and yours--on being a teen, being yourself, and making it through high school. Oh, and we will be sure to not leave our crayons in the sun along the way.