LOOKING IN THE MIRROR

Huddle In, originally uploaded by Jerrica Joy

In order to make Girls in the Hall a place that deals with important topics for real girls, I read blogs that I respect that pertains in any way to things teen. One site that I follow is www.singlemommyhood.com, which is for real families with real issues, including teen topics. I saw an article link on Twitter to a post on there about what parents should say to us girls when we feel self conscious about our bodies. I decided that I want to go straight to you all and ask, what do you want your parents to say?

The self image topic is discussed a lot in the magazines that flood our mail boxes where they tell us how we look is just fine, but then we flip the page and see another underweight model looking up at us. What is with that?

To continue with my reasoning on this blog to be brutally honest with all of you, even if that means facing myself, I will tell you that I have had body image issues in the past. In high school, I felt like mirrors were my enemy and I often avoided them at all costs. No one else really knew, it was a battle that I kept (and still do sometimes) buried inside my brain. As girls, we have been assigned the nearly impossible task of being content with what we look like, while most of our role models would be considered undernourished by doctors.

Adults usually say things like, "But you look normal!" or "Normal girls don't look like models!" Because of this, when I decided that I had enough in high school of feeling bad, I began my journey back to the real world with really learning what the meaning of normal is. The dictionary tells us that the definition of normal is "relating to, involving, or being a normal curve or normal distribution." To me, that wasn't helpful. We are all so different, how can we define ourselves by what people think is "normal"?

Where does that leave those of us who naturally fall outside of the normal spectrum? What if, in looking up what it means to be normal, it makes us judge ourselves even harsher? Sometimes normal for us isn't what is written in the books. We may know we are healthy, but still not feel good about ourselves, because of the way famous people look, what people tell us or just simply, how we feel about ourselves.

Most of our parents, like the ones who read the site I mentioned at the beginning of this post, just want us to see what they see--amazing girls, filled with so much beauty and potential--and don't know what to say to convey that.

So, my challenge to you is to find what you really like about yourself. Do you know the latest music? Are you awesome at making people laugh? Are you a good athlete? Do you write interesting journal entries? It may sound nerdy, but I swear it really, really helps. If you find something you love doing that makes you happy, that passion will make you feel beautiful, and help you find your version of normal. Then, your normal will be defined by what makes you light up, not the numbers on a scale. I know it did for me.